Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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