I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident