Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.