did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents