Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
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I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?