my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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