I must be too annoying 4 u.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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