like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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