do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh god it's open bar.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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