After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
