I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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