id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
