just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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