I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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