is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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