nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
