what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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