He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
