apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
