ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
