You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
