i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
