she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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