Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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