please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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