You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What a dumb baby whore.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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