ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
