Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i've created a new STD.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
