I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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