i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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