He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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