I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
