My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't think brook has ever known best
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
