sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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