After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
