haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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