guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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