Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How naked do you want me to be?
try to milk me bitch
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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