i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
