is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
