That's intense
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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