ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
