she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
