on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize