Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm really busy with my period
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