how can u be prego again
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize