SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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