i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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