as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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