some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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