That's intense
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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