Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
