Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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