You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do herpes really smell.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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