You're my little dorito
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
