Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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