I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
