We named our party play list daddy issues
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
